Tag Archives: parents

Sound Catholic education involves parents as ambassadors for Christ

Throughout the centuries, Christianity has taught that parents are the primary educators and shapers of their children. This includes parents’ jurisdiction over their children not only socially and morally, but religiously and academically.

Parents are ambassadors for Christ in all phases of education for their children: “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). Fathers and Mothers, take heed.

The Fourth Commandment, “Honor Thy Father and Thy Mother” (Exodus 20:12), teaches us that children honor God by honoring their parents. It is also the first Commandment to carry a promise:: “that you may have a long life….”. Parents have every right to require honor from their children or they (both parents and children) are doing an injustice to God – keeping honor away that is due our Heavenly Father. Naturally, this message is the same for all parents, whether married, single, separated or divorced.

The honor of children – whether minors or adults – for their father and mother (cf. Proverbs 1:8, Tobit 4:3-4) is nourished by the natural affection born of the bond uniting them: the bond of the family. Such honor is required by God’s commandment (cf. Deuteronomy 5:16). While strict obedience toward parents may cease after a child becomes emancipated from home as an adult, respect and honor are always owed them.

How can parents dutifully require honor from their children? By gently nurturing and educating them in their Christian faith, parents can teach and foster within their children natural virtues like respect, fidelity, obedience, tenderness and forgiveness, not to mention other virtues like faith, hope and love. The home is well suited for education in virtues. This first requires an apprenticeship on the part of parents in areas of sound judgment, self-mastery, and self-denial. These Gospel principles serve as preconditions of true freedom.

Parents should associate their children from their most tender years with the life of the Church. If parents set an example, children are naturally inclined to follow it (cf. Proverbs 6:20-22, 13:1; Colossians 3:20; Ephesians 6:1-3). Parents have a grave responsibility to educate and give good example to their children in things both spiritual and temporal. Also, parents should teach their children to avoid the compromising and degrading influences that threaten human societies and the worth of the human person. Every person is unique, precious, and unrepeatable –made in the image and likeness of God (cf. Genesis 1:26-27).

Surely, the home is the natural environment for initiating a youngster into solidarity and communal responsibilities. St. Augustine (d. 430), in fact, called the Christian home the “domestic church.” Having grown-up on a dairy farm, I can still appreciate the spiritual and temporal values instilled by my parents in my siblings and me. Sunday Mass and regular reception of the Sacrament of Confession were mainstays, as were daily chores and tasks assigned to me and my brothers and sister on the farm. Even our years of involvement in 4-H and FFA melded well with our Christian upbringing: we learned, for example, the importance of healthy and charitable competition in the show ring when showing dairy cattle, or building farm equipment in high school shop class and exhibiting it at the county fair.

Parents begin true and authentic education of their children by first solidifying their own faith. They must pray for themselves and for their children. They should also maintain a realistic attitude that the road traveled in raising children will not always be smooth. Parents must work to recapture their God-like leading role, focusing on a return to childlike innocence, peace in the family, and growth in faith and virtue (cf. Matthew 18:3; Mark 10:14).

FR. WADE L. J. MENEZES, CPM is the assistant general of the Fathers of Mercy, an itinerant missionary preaching order based in Auburn, KY. He is host of EWTN Global Catholic Radio’s “Open Line Tuesday” and the author of The Four Last Things: A Catechetical Guide to Death, Judgment, Heaven, and Hell (EWTN Publishing).

Entrust kids to schools teaching ultimate Truth, moral law

Parents, as the first educators of their child and participating in the selection of an institution of higher education, are faced with challenges that perhaps their own parents had not faced: Will their teenager embrace the truths of the Church after their college experience? Historically, if a young person selected a Catholic college parents felt confident they would be supporting an educational experience supportive of Church teaching. Current anecdotal evidence suggests this may not always remain the case. Numerous mandates interfere with Catholic higher education’s unique role in preparing graduates to respond to the escalating moral questions of the day. These mandates may be from regulatory agencies, policies concerning academic freedom, legal claims labeling natural moral law as intolerant and discriminatory, and most impactfully, the demands of politically correct cultural relativism.

Catholic higher education has a unique role that extends beyond the education of the next generation. During Pope Benedict XVI’s 2008 address to Catholic educators in the United States, he indicated how education plays a unique role in shaping a society respectful of natural moral law based on ultimate truths: “The Church’s primary mission of evangelization, in which educational institutions play a crucial role, is consonant with a nation’s fundamental aspiration to develop a society truly worthy of the human person’s dignity. … The Church’s mission, in fact, involves her in humanity’s struggle to arrive at truth. In articulating revealed truth she serves all members of society by purifying reason, ensuring that it remains open to the consideration of ultimate truths. Drawing upon divine wisdom, she sheds light on the foundation of human morality and ethics, and reminds all groups in society that it is not praxis that creates truth but truth that should serve as the basis of praxis.” [Benedict XVI, Address to Catholic Educators (Washington, DC: The Catholic University of America, April 17, 2008).]

The most effective method of fulfilling this mission is by preparing graduates capable of shaping a society that respects natural moral law. However, society has become hostile, not only to the ultimate truths of natural moral law, but also to those who espouse them. Catholic colleges may find it financially and socially expedient to deemphasize such a mission. In so doing, students may be cheated of an education in ultimate truths consistent with reason, vital to the holistic development of the human person. The question remains: What is a parent, in assisting a college-seeking child, to do?

There are indicators of a Catholic institution’s willingness to fulfill its unique role. These include: the nature of institutional sponsorship; the composition of the institution’s board of directors and their membership in organizations which publicly advocate for positions inconsistent with Church teaching; the public positions taken by board members, the administration, and the faculty; the sources of institutional funding; the nature and number of mandated core courses in religious studies and philosophy; and the institution’s collaborative relationships with other agencies in meeting the educational needs of students. One very telling indicator is how the institution describes itself and its mission in promotional materials. Is its mission defined solely in terms of secular goals or in terms of the foundational goal of enabling students to discern ultimate truths consistent with natural moral law? Perhaps, most importantly, does the institution identify itself as Catholic, or merely as value or faith-based?

Catholic institutions of higher education have remained critical to the scientific, socio-cultural, and moral development of this nation. If parents, with their college-seeking children, are comfortable with what they have learned when assessing these parameters, they have a basis for entrusting the next generation to Catholic higher education.

 

DR. MARIE HILLIARD, MS, MA, JCL, PH.D., RN, is Senior Fellow at The National Catholic Bioethics Center. She has an extensive background in nursing, medical ethics, and public policy (former Director of the CT Catholic Conference). She is a canon lawyer, co-chairs the Ethics Committee of the Catholic Medical Association, is president of the National Association of Catholic Nurses USA, and is a Colonel (Ret.) in the U.S. Army Reserve, where she served as RN for over 20 years. Having published extensively, she has likewise won Catholic Press Association award recognition.

Talk to parents early about aging

As our parents get older, it is often difficult to speak with them about issues they will confront in the aging process. The most important thing is to start the conversation early. Begin the dialogue when your parents are in good health. Do not wait until they develop a serious illness or are unable to make decisions for themselves. Here are some tips to help with the dialogue.

Enlist other family members to participate in the discussions. First, find out what their opinions are before you start the conversation with your parents. It is best to present a united front, so try to reach a consensus before you include your parents in the discussion.

Use good communication skills. Do not offer advice, but present your parents with options. Listen to their needs. Ask open-ended questions to better assess their views and enhance the discussion. • Understand your parents’ need to control their own lives. A sense of losing control is very frightening. Parents have a right to make decisions, but often you need to balance their need for independence with safety issues.

If you and your parents disagree, allow their wishes to prevail until their health or safety is an issue.

Address competency to drive before it becomes too late. This is a huge issue for the elderly because it affects their independence and their sense of control. If you have concerns that your parents are not safe to drive, it is often better for the family physician to address this issue, to avoid your parents blaming you if they are not allowed to drive anymore. There are ways to assess driving ability using simulators which provide objective data that the physician can use. Be forewarned that even with objective data, your parents will struggle with giving up their car. This is an extremely sensitive issue.

Ask your parents details about their finances. While this may be a difficult topic to discuss, it is important to know about insurance policies, trust documents, tax returns, bank records, investments, etc. Find out where they keep their paper work and organize the papers if necessary.

Ask about living wills and health care proxies. Understand your parents’ wishes concerning their medical care. It is important to have this in place before there is a medical crisis.

Gather information for your parents about their Medicare benefits. Medicare does not usually cover long-term care, so it is helpful to explore whether long-term care insurance is appropriate.

Identify community resources. Find out what services are available for your parents should they decide to stay in their home as they age.

Re-evaluate the situation on a regular basis. Your parents’ needs can change rapidly.

If you are having trouble with these conversations, consider involving a third party such a family physician, financial planner, attorney, or geriatric care manager. Most importantly, always treat your parents with love and respect and let them know you will be there for them as they age and confront any difficulty.

 

SUSAN LOCKE is Healthnetwork Foundation’s medical director.