Tag Archives: fasting

The Lent we get isn’t the one we choose

When a strong man armed keepeth his court, those things are in peace which he possesseth (Luke 11:21).

In recent years and especially this one, I’ve noticed that the Lent we envision isn’t the one that lands in our laps.

Christine Valentine-Owsik

One year just before Ash Wednesday as I’d put finishing touches on a mental list of Lenten “to dos,” my husband called in mid-morning – something he never does. His decades-long position was terminated. His employer was sold, all health and other benefits would cease tomorrow, the company car would be returned, and severance (in his contract) was being fought. It came right after I’d lost a longtime client due to budget cuts. We plunged from a handsome income straight to nothing, in a blink. The world seemed to bust from its axis, and shock temporarily canceled my vision and hearing – I saw a ‘snowstorm’ inside, my ears hissed like a steam train. I never heard the phone crash to the floor – I almost did the same thing.

The house. Our youngest still in college. The mortgage. The last of the Christmas bills. Everything spun in a blur as I tried to get a snapshot of what we had, what we owed, and how we’d survive. Paralyzed by whom to call and what to prioritize, I made another list (one of my habits). I calculated how long our cash could last, when we’d need to begin tapping untouchables (retirement accounts, etc.), and then selling – house, cars, stuff. Our canvas of life crumpled. I began to envy anyone who had a job, any job.

And then I thought of God. How could you let this happen? Are we being punished? My type-A disposition kicked in to overdrive, my anxiety stealing rationale. It would be nice to say I jumped into prayer, but not quite. All I could manage to do was cry to Christ for help. Even tears didn’t flow normally

In a daze, I went to our parish church. My favorite priest was walking through that morning. His usual chipper greeting collapsed at seeing me. I told him everything, admitting my utter fear. Like a father, he hugged and assured me God was with us, and would help indeed. He promised his personal prayers. I could hardly stand. I was drained, with yesterday’s makeup streaking, and it wasn’t even noon. He heard my Confession.

He then explained this was a trial, and that we had to be very vigilant about our faith and prayer life. We had to humbly trust God like never before, not ourselves or our resumes or our business networks. God alone. Had I ever done that?

“You need supernatural courage to keep your inner court undisturbed,” Father told me. I took up the daily rosary, and prioritized prayer. I cut obsessional TV shows, and other time-wasters. Each hour needed to be intentional.

Lent is also a time of great heavenly reversals. By Holy Week, we both had new positions. And we’d become more closely acquainted with our lifetime Friend, The Lord Himself.

CHRISTINE VALENTINE-OWSIK is Legatus magazine’s editor.

Celebrating a Holy Catholic Easter: A Guide to the Customs and Devotions of Lent and the Season of Christ’s Resurrection

Fr. William Saunders
TAN Books, 224 pages

For Catholics, Lent and Easter are all about ashes, fasting, fish on Fridays, palm branches, and those Easter Triduum liturgies, correct? Well, as Fr. Saunders relates in this fine book, there’s actually a whole lot more to these liturgical seasons that make them so rich in opportunity for spiritual growth. Here he explains the fuller meaning behind the familiar Catholic observances and takes us deeper: historical backgrounds, tips on preparation for one’s Lenten Confession, the significance of Holy Week liturgies, and the glorious feasts of the Easter season right up through Pentecost. Be prepared to experience these seasons of penance and new life like never before.


Order: Amazon

‘Desert’ retreat rallies men closer to Christ

San Diego Legate Owen Mossy thought he was signing up for an extended study of the book of Exodus when he agreed in January to take part in Exodus 90.

Little did he know that the invitation he received from fellow Legate Mike Sweeney meant that for 90 days, he would be making a daily holy hour and abstaining from alcohol, sweets, eating between meals, TV, and hot showers, plus limiting his Internet usage to essential tasks.

Out-of-this-era encounter

To his credit, the 46-yearold father of six kept his commitment even after learning what was involved. He now says it has changed his life. Before beginning the regimen of intensive prayer and fasting designed for men, Mossy had been going to Mass only on Sundays – sometimes skipping if circumstances seemed to interfere – and to Confession only once a year on a silent retreat. Since embarking on Exodus 90, Mossy has become a daily Mass-goer and, 60 days into the program, had been to Confession three times.

Designed by a priest, Exodus 90 was begun in 2013 for seminarians who, having grown up in a sin dominated society, were seeking greater personal freedom. The 90 days are based on the book of Exodus, which recounts the Israelites’ journey through the wilderness to the Promised Land, and during that time, participants enter a desert experience. The program since has been expanded to include bishops, priests, and laymen, thousands of whom have completed the 90-day endurance test after learning about it through friends, dioceses, apostolates, and Catholic leaders.

Inspired by his brother-in-law, a Catholic convert who insisted Exodus 90 was “the coolest thing he’d ever done in his life,” Sweeney sent invitations to members of the Catholic men’s formation group he and fellow Legate Byrnes Lambert lead. When Sweeney learned of his brother-in-law’s plans to repeat Exodus 90, he said, “I felt the Holy Spirit say, ‘Mike, you’ve got to do it and rally your spiritual brothers with you.’”

Eight of the 15 men in the group – five of them Legatus members – agreed to the challenge. “I’ve done silent retreats and Lenten fasts,” Sweeney said. “I’ve been on men’s retreats, men’s conferences, and fly-fishing men’s Bible retreats, and this is the greatest spiritual exercise I’ve ever been a part of.”

Lambert said Exodus 90’s time-tested practices of Christian asceticism have awakened in him a minute-to-minute awareness of Christ’s presence in his daily walk. “I desire Christ more. I need Him more when the comfort is pulled away.”

He added, “The world considers comfort a cardinal virtue and tells us that discomfort or pain is an evil that we must fight to eradicate. As Christian disciples and Legates, we know that the world is wrong here since discomfort is a key part of the cross. Because of Exodus 90, I now see the necessity of intentionally adding some discomfort to my day as an offering to Jesus to unite me to His sacrifice on the cross.”

More available to Christ

James Baxter, Exodus 90 executive director, said the program offers any Catholic man of good will a formation experience that will profoundly impact his life. Many of the participants find it to be just that. “People come up to us afterward and say, ‘You promised me this and you were right. I am a freer man, more available to Jesus Christ.’”

But Atlanta Legate Ryan Foley, who has made Exodus 90 twice and has worked with Baxter to promote it, said the experience is more than about achieving freedom from personal attachments. “This is a powerful moment to become a man of prayer for others, but specifically for the Church.” Foley has used Exodus 90 as an opportunity to offer his time of fasting and intensified prayer for the intentions of friends and others.

Although every man’s journey is different, a common benefit participants cite is that of gaining time by giving up TV and unnecessary Internet usage. For example, Rich Cronin, a member of Legatus’s Genesis Chapter, has noticed that he has more quality time with his wife, Connie. Because they are not watching TV in the evenings, they may read a book together or listen to music. They also have added a Friday date night to give Connie a break from having to cook meatless meals on one of the two fasting days.

Sweeney said the absence of TV viewing also has given him more time with his wife, Shara, and their five children, opening up opportunities to draw and color with his daughters or play catch with his sons. “There’s definitely more time every day and week with family and that’s been the greatest blessing.”

New “fraternity” brothers

Likewise, Erik Jorgensen, who is in an Exodus 90 “fraternity” that includes Mossy, Sweeney, and Lambert, said the biggest benefit for him has been the ability to focus on more important things such as undistracted time with his family and quality meditation and prayer during the day. “Even the little things like not listening to the radio in the car have led to much more time over the course of the day spent in conversation with God. I’ve come to realize how much our modern media inserts itself into the free moments of the day that are now spent in silence and reflection. It has had a huge impact on what I’m thinking about during waking hours.”

Those who take up the Exodus 90 challenge say they also benefit from the requirement that they complete the regimen as part of such a fraternity that meets weekly.

Jorgensen said he hadn’t realized how much inspiration and support he would draw from the group. “That’s been critical to staying in it. You’re never alone in the process. The value of the fraternity cannot be understated. You learn to cherish the time spent sharing your experiences, your highs and lows, and challenging each other to drive on.”

Jorgensen’s fraternity meets every Friday for Mass and then spends about an hour afterward discussing the week and what lies ahead. Members also get and give regular updates on how they are doing through a group text.

Sweeney said for him, the fraternity has been the easiest part of the Exodus 90 regimen.

“It just is so natural to come together once a week and look your brothers in the eye and share your victories and encourage one another through the times we stumbled. It’s beautiful.”

Cronin said when he first heard about Exodus 90 at the SEEK 2019 conference in January, he thought it would be good to do, but he knew he didn’t want to go it alone. A few weeks later, a fellow parishioner at St. Joan of Arc in Toledo, Ohio, invited him to make Exodus 90. “The next thing I knew, I was part of a group.”

Strength-training, clearing obstacles

Before beginning Exodus 90, Cronin had never done any intensive fasting and acknowledges he wasn’t very good at it. Now, he said, by fasting every Wednesday and Friday using the Church’s guidelines for Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, he has learned to deal better with his hunger pangs. “In the past, what I would do is always try to satisfy those hungers, feeding them with junk.” Through Exodus 90, he said, he has learned to overcome his hunger pangs, adding, “After a while, they kind of go away.”

Cronin said the program also includes an exercise regimen that has been good for him because he was out of shape after going through cancer treatment last year. “When I first started, I couldn’t run a quarter mile. My weight was only 160 pounds, but physically, my body was just racked. Now, I’m running four to five miles several times a week.”

Asked why Legates should make Exodus 90, Cronin said, “I think no matter who we are, everyone’s got addictions and this program teaches you how to deal with any addiction you have and even your obsessions that are not good. With any addiction or obsession, you’re putting something in front of God. This whole thing is designed to say that God is number one in everything we do and if something is hindering us from putting him number one, we’re going to face that in these 90 days.”

JUDY ROBERTS is a Legatus magazine staff write

The trouble with fasting

Deacon Greg Kandra writes that getting the most out of Lent means selfless giving . . .

Deacon Greg Kandra

Deacon Greg Kandra

I was doing perfectly fine, sitting at the diner, scanning the menu and steadfastly determined to have a tuna melt for lunch … until someone at the table next to me made a fateful decision.

They ordered a cheeseburger. It was all downhill from there. It arrived at the table, oozing melted cheese, heaped with French fries, the air fragrant with the faint aroma of just-broiled bacon. My salivary glands kicked into overdrive and before I could stop them, my lips were forming the words: “I’ll have the burger deluxe.”

Several minutes later, swabbing the ketchup from the plate with the last French fry, I heaved a deep sigh. I found myself once again back at square one, trying to maintain my Lenten fast.

Year after year, as the winter chill lingers and we wait expectantly for Easter, I am forced, like so many people, to confront my own weaknesses. Lent, I’ve discovered, is a period not only to pray and do penance; it’s also a time to look more deeply at my faults and consider more seriously the temptations that could be as close as the corner deli.

We realize during Lent that we are flesh and blood. The season begins with smears of ash, a foreshadowing of what we will become and a reminder of what we are. We are dust. We are human. We have weaknesses, urges, desires. During the Lenten fast we realize, too, how easily we can succumb — how spoiled we are by a culture that manages to deliver decadence to our door (OK, maybe it’s just a big sausage pizza).

Of course, in 2014, skipping meat on Friday isn’t the hardship it once was. What can really be challenging is giving up entirely a meal or two for a day — or maybe even going without any meal at all. My wife, already in the express lane to sainthood for enduring the man she’s married to, strives to eat only bread and water on Lenten Fridays. I marvel at her discipline and her ability to remain cheerful in a world without donuts. I’m not there yet.

cheeseburgerBut I have come to understand this much: Lent is about more than doing without. It is also about going within — looking more deeply at who we are, what we need. I think part of our Lenten experience should be not only spending time going hungry, but also confronting, in a stark and honest way, what feeds us — in every sense. What do we feel we can’t do without? What do we crave?

Beyond a Big Mac, do we yearn for something more elusive? Do we want flattery? Ego-stroking? Attention? Try giving that up for Lent. You may feel pangs you never knew before.

Sometimes the most difficult fast can be not giving up food, but giving up power or gratification. Try it sometime.

Do something wonderful for someone else, and don’t claim any credit. Pick up the check of a stranger at the restaurant, or send flowers to a lonely friend, anonymously. Donate to a cause, or give to a shelter, or toss more money into the collection basket on Sunday — but do it in secret. Your Father, who sees in secret, will know. And that will be more than enough.

I preach this message from the pulpit every year on Ash Wednesday: The first part of “giving up” is “giving.” During Lent we all need to try to fast from taking and make a practice of giving. Give time. Give money. Give attention. Give the gift of your presence to someone who is alone, or anxious, or sick, or frightened. Give kindness to someone you can’t stand. Give patience when you’d rather give petulance. Give quiet when you’d rather give an argument. Give peace when you’d rather give someone grief. But whatever you do, give.

That doesn’t mean we should skip fasting from food altogether or that living without meat or desserts or your favorite mocha latte will be any easier during these 40 days of Lent. But when we look beyond ourselves and our own hungers, we see more clearly the very real and tangible hungers of others — and what we can do to ease them.

That takes us to the core of our Lenten observance, straight to the heart of Christian love. If we think of fasting that way, the experience of Lent can be transformative.

You may end up giving up more than you expected — and receiving more than you ever anticipated. It can be a source of renewal, a moment of grace. And that will feed you in ways no hamburger ever could.

DEACON GREG KANDRA serves the Diocese of Brooklyn, N.Y. He is the multimedia editor of Catholic Near East Welfare Association (CNEWA) and creator of the popular blog “The Deacon’s Bench” at Patheos.com.