Will they hear His Voice?

Every month in the diocese of Evansville, IN, as many as 400 young people gather at Sacred Heart Church to pray about their own and others’ vocations.

Some have met a future spouse there. Others have gone on to enter the seminary or religious life.

Although Fr. Tyler Tenbarge, vocations director for his diocese and chaplain for Legatus’ Evansville Chapter, started the holy hour and Mass for young men who were discerning priesthood, it has expanded into a time of prayer for all callings in life, reinforcing the Church’s teaching on the universal call to holiness.

Indeed, the Catechism of the Catholic Church states that every Christian has a vocation to holiness and the mission of evangelizing the world, and that each in turn is called to live out this call more particularly through priesthood, consecrated life, marriage, or as a single. 

To drive that home, Father Tenbarge said whenever he gives vocations talks, the first thing he says is, “You’re called to follow the Lord, period. Now, how are you called to follow the Lord?” 

UNDERSTANDING VOCATION

“We’re all called to holiness, then to our individual path to holiness,” affirmed Fr. George Elliott, author of Discernment Do’s and Don’ts: A Practical Guide to Vocational Discernment, published by TAN Books. “Some are called to holiness by being married, some as priests, and others as religious.” 

However, because today’s culture does not put God at the center, Fr. Tenbarge said, many young people think their purpose is merely what they intend it to be. Parents often echo this by urging their children to consider only what they want to do with their lives as they make decisions about the future. 

The fully Catholic way of understanding vocation, Fr. Elliott said, is that it is what God is calling someone to give his or her life to — a lifelong commitment for the sake of love that includes both stability and obedience. 

That said, he has found in his work as a chaplain to the St. Mary’s Catholic Campus Ministry at Stephen F. Austin University in Nacogdoches, TX, that most students today think of vocation as a career, particularly if they haven’t been exposed to priests and sisters. 

FAMILY ENCOURAGEMENT

Parents and grandparents can help rectify that, Fr. Elliott said, by making sure young people are exposed to holy, joyful, healthy priests and religious as well as holy, joyful, healthy marriages. He said some young people will almost shut out a certain vocation, including marriage, because they have never seen it lived well. 

Father Elliott said parents and grandparents also can encourage good vocation discernment by asking young people questions that will reveal what is in the depths of their hearts where they will encounter God’s will for them. He suggests questions like “What things in your life help you to grow in holiness the most?” or “In this experience — such as visiting a monastery or dating someone — do you feel you are growing in holiness and authentic joy?” 

“If nobody is there to ask these questions and to listen,” Fr. Elliott said, “the young person often pushes them down and avoids them.” 

He said parents can start talking about vocations as early as their children can think. 

“When your little boy says, ‘When I grow up, I want to be a fireman or a dump truck driver,’ you can say, ‘I hope that whenever you grow up you become whatever God is calling you to,’” he explained. “It lets the child know that the point is not what you do, but that you do what God is calling you to do.” 

Real conversations, he continued, are more likely to happen when a child reaches the early teens. 

“At this point, I think the most important way to foster a child’s process of discernment is to open up and talk to them about how you are discerning God’s will in your life and how you’re making decisions according to what God is calling you to do,” he said. “Kids will imitate that.” 

AN EARLY START

Father Tenbarge also advocates talking to children early about vocations. He said that can be something as simple as noticing a child is doing something kind and saying, “You have a generous heart. I wonder how God will want to use that later?” 

While he was growing up, his parish had a “vocations chalice” that families would take home for a week.

“Every night at dinner, we were supposed to put it on the table and pray for vocations and talk about what we thought God was calling us to do,” he recalled. “It would give the family a direction to go and a way to relate to the culture of vocations.” 

Father Tenbarge said he also encourages parents and grandparents to respond favorably should a child express an interest in the priesthood or religious life. 

“Some parents will discourage priesthood or religious life as a path because they’re scared of their kids being lonely,” he said, “or of not having grandkids themselves.” 

His own parents, he said, were encouraging whenever he mentioned priesthood. 

“The big difference with me was that while my parents were not extraordinarily faithful Catholics, they were at least supportive of the idea that I and my siblings were called by God for something,” said 
Fr. Tenbarge.

THE BEST VOCATION? WHEREVER GOD CALLS

Even though religious vocations are still seen by many as the highest of callings, Fr. George Elliott says that the best vocation for each person is the one chosen for him or her by God.

A campus chaplain, author of a book about vocations, and co-founder of Catholic CAST Media, Fr. Elliott said religious vocations are considered higher because they require vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience and hence, detachment from the world. 

In talking about vocations, he said he prefers a path that respects the elevation of the sacrament of Marriage that has been communicated by recent Church documents but also values the tradition and Scripture in regard to the celibate vocations. 

However, he said, all vocations are good and holy and everybody, regardless of vocation, is called to be a saint. 

“There are not classes of people according to vocation in the Church,” Fr. Elliott explained. “The vocation God is calling you to is the best vocation for you.”