When God calls to a different path

Three men destined for secular success followed a beckoning to the priesthood instead — with Legate family members there to support them.

One entertained ideas about a career in politics and wound up teaching high school for several years. Another worked in the banking business before pursuing a graduate degree in education. A third had a clear path into a business career working for his father’s computer firm.

Eventually, each of these three men responded to God’s call to serve Him in a different, more radical way — as Catholic priests. They discerned their vocations in part through the faith formation and support from family members who happen to be Legates.

YOUNG SIMON SAYS…

Father Simon Esshaki was just 17 when he entered the seminary after high school, but already had worked for the global IT solutions company founded by his father, Deacon Keith Esshaki, who with his wife, Amy, is a Legate of the San Diego Chapter.

“I would have gone into that business, but I discovered my calling after strengthening my faith and trying to spread the Gospel through various means,” Fr. Simon said. Giving his life to God, he prayed God would reveal His plan and sought counsel from parish priests.

His Catholic upbringing played a strong role, too. His parents immigrated from Iraq in the 1970s and settled near San Diego within a large Chaldean Catholic community, members of one of the Eastern Catholic churches. “We prayed the rosary daily, and my faith had a solid foundation from the formation I received at home,” Fr. Esshaki recalled. “I thank God for their commitment to the faith, and for raising me and my sisters in the Church.”

Deacon Esshaki said young Simon talked of becoming “a Chaldean Catholic priest” almost since he could speak. “This was what I prayed for all the time, that the Lord calls our son to be a priest. It was my dream,” he said. “My wife was not fully on board until a short time before Simon joined the seminary, but I prayed a lot that she’d give Simon her blessing, and she finally did.”

Father Esshaki presently is assigned to St. Michael Chaldean Church in the San Diego suburb of El Cajon, close to St. Peter Chaldean Cathedral where his father is a deacon. When the two have an opportunity to serve at the altar together at Mass “it is truly a blessing,” Fr. Simon said.

The young priest also maintains a social media outreach. He’s already been hit by the ‘cancel culture’ after the popular video platform TikTok temporarily censored him for his post explaining Catholic teaching on homosexuality.

“By the grace of God, I am able to use social media platforms to spread the Gospel,” he said. “I find it very effective and see a lot of people encountering the message of the Gospel through my content, and I am very thankful for that.”

His journey since his 2015 ordination has been “nothing short of amazing,” he said. “Every day I experience God’s grace in a new way, and I try to make myself the best instrument so that I can be used by Him to help people be saved.”

For the Esshakis, their son’s vocation has been a joy that has even strengthened their marriage. “We are still in awe that our son is a priest, and we thank the Lord every day for gracing us with such a gift,” he said.

DEFERRED, THEN EMBRACED

As he grew up in Freehold, NJ, Brian Graebe had considered politics, the academic world, and the priesthood among his career options. While attending New York University, the seminary appealed to him most. But his senior year shook things up: that fall, he witnessed the World Trade Center attacks of 9/11, and then the clergy sexual-abuse scandal broke during spring 2002. He decided to defer his decision and became a high school Latin teacher instead.

A few years later, the pull to the priesthood remained.. “It’s where I kept seeing myself, and the thought of being a priest filled me with great peace and joy,” Fr. Graebe recalled. He was ordained a priest for the Archdiocese of New York in 2011 and today is pastor of the Basilica of St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral in lower Manhattan.

His vocation is a fruit of his strong Catholic family. “All of my grandparents, my parents, and my aunts and uncles were and are really committed to the faith,” he said. Regular Mass, frequent Confession, and family prayer were “just a part of the air we breathed growing up.” That broad family witness and support, he added, “allowed me to see the priesthood as a perfectly normal and comfortable thing, something familiar and not at all strange or exotic.”

Among those faithful relatives were his uncle and aunt, Dr. Robert and Nancy Graebe, Legates of the New York City Chapter. Father Graebe recalled that when he announced his plans for the seminary, his mother had some “natural, motherly concerns” that he might be unhappy or lonely in the priesthood. “When my mom told my Aunt Nancy about my decision, my aunt replied, ‘What a blessing for our family!’ That helped my mom put things in a different perspective and gave her great peace. It’s a beautiful example of a family supporting each other in faith.”

For Fr. Graebe, priestly ministry has been “an incredible adventure in grace” that has thus far included doctoral studies in Rome, three parish assignments, and sharing the joys and sorrows of his parishioners. Even his teaching experience comes in handy. “So much of a priest’s ministry is teaching: in the pulpit, in RCIA and religious education programs, in everyday encounters,” he said.

“I can’t imagine doing anything else.”

PILGRIMAGE TO PRIESTHOOD

One of eight children of Dr. John and Judy Calabro of Watchung, NJ, Northern New Jersey Legates, Fr. John Calabro majored in history at Seton Hall University but wasn’t sure what to do next. He took a banking job, where he “learned a lot, matured a lot” and began examining in earnest his strengths and weaknesses. He secured a position teaching history and enrolled in a master’s program in education.

He also sought spiritual direction. “I must have been very boring for my spiritual director,” Fr. Calabro said. “He put in a lot of work without seeing much in the way of results. But slowly and surely, even that bore fruit.”

The next summer, he traveled to Spain with a diocesan youngadult group to hike the Camino de Santiago, the pilgrimage journey leading to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Galicia.

“The beautiful thing about the way of life one enters while making this kind of pilgrimage is that there is so much time for quiet prayer and reflection while living a life of great simplicity,” he said.

Among his Camino group was a recently ordained priest to whom he opened up about his discernment process. “I found my conversations with him to be very encouraging,” he said. “It was on that pilgrimage, and in particular in conversation with that priest, that things finally clicked, and I saw with greater clarity what my vocation was to be.”

He entered the seminary and was ordained for the Diocese of Paterson in 2019. He presently is chaplain and teacher at Pope John XXIII Regional High School in Sparta, NJ.

Father Calabro credits his parents for providing a “beautiful model of faith” and presenting priesthood and religious life as something normal.

“And they stayed out of my way!” he added. “They know me well and never pushed anything, but patiently waited for me to come around to making my own decisions.”

His mother said she and John Sr. provided a Catholic school education and family faith activities, and encouraged their children to participate in Catholic youth groups, camps, retreats, and World Youth Day.

“It is difficult to know how these things affected John’s vocation, as the discernment of a priestly or religious vocation is a very personal and interior process,” she said. “The call must come from God. We encouraged all of our children to seek what God wants them to do, wherever that might lead them.”

Their son’s ordination was a great blessing, with “profound personal and spiritual effects on both of us individually and as a couple,” Judy said. “Our relationship with God has definitely grown.”

Having gone from teaching to seminary and back to teaching, Fr. Calabro said that he’s pretty much right back where he started. “It’s been great so far,” he explained. “In some ways, I am a new teacher all over again.”

As for his future ministry, “We’ll see what the Lord has in store,” he said.  

GERALD KORSON, editorial consultant for Legatus magazine, is based in Indiana.  

For every high priest chosen from among men is appointed to act on behalf of men in relation to God, to offer gifts and sacrifices for sins. He can deal gently with the ignorant and wayward, since he himself is beset with weakness. Because of this he is bound to offer sacrifice for his own sins as well as for those of the people. And one does not take the honor upon himself, but he is called by God. (Heb 5: 1-4)

Tips for vocation discernment

“I would tell young men discerning the priesthood to have confidence in God’s grace and that, if He calls you, He will take care of you and make you the happiest person you can be, as long as you stay close to Him. Young men should be completely open to the call and discern actively if they think they
could make the sacrifice by the grace of God.” — Fr. Simon Esshaki

“Take the plunge! The journey is well worth it. I still have many good friends from seminary who were not ordained. They are wonderful men, and I am better for their friendship.” — Fr. John Calabro

“Discern in peace and in freedom. A vocation is an invitation. Where is God gently leading your heart? Sometimes we want certainty, a ‘burning bush’ that tells us what to do. But that’s not how God usually works. It’s very much like falling in love: someone who occupies your thoughts, with whom you find yourself happiest, most fulfilled, at your best. A vocation retreat, a seminary or novitiate, that’s like the dating phase that allows you to see if this is for real, if this relationship warrants a lifetime commitment. Do not be afraid! God will not be outdone in generosity.” — Fr. Brian Graebe