THE CATHOLIC CHURCH’S teaching on how to treat the tiniest of children is crystal clear: “The human being is to be respected and treated as a person from the moment of conception” (Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, Instruction Donum vitae).
Good work has been done in recent decades to raise the visibility of children in the womb, aided by advances in science like ultrasound technology, as well as to promote healing from the horrors of abortion.
At the same time, the increasing popularity of in-vitro fertilization, with its well-meaning but misplaced pro-life intentions, has desensitized many to the dignity of embryonic children. Untold millions are simply dumped down the drain or cryopreserved, and many of these frozen children are then abandoned or torn apart for scientific research.
Yet even those who know the dignity of tiny human lives may find it challenging to treat minute, nearly invisible, and largely mysterious children as real persons in daily life. After all, we often do not yet know their name, sex, face, personality traits, or typical modes of expression.
One thing is certain: “depersonalizing” tiny human children is a tactic to increase acceptance of abortion and the destruction or abuse of human embryos from IVF clinics. As such, it is a good idea to find ways that we can “personalize” embryonic children. For example, naming a child as soon as the sex is known can “drive home” a sense of the baby’s personal identity, or at least saying “the baby” instead of “it” can draw attention to the baby’s full humanity.
Our response to the tragedy of miscarriage may be one of the more important opportunities to treat tiny children as real persons. Miscarriage is more common than many believe. About one in every four children is lost this way. Many parents experience this deep sorrow silently. The world may not acknowledge these lost children as real persons, or their loss as worthy of real mourning, but we can remind the world of their dignity by proper care for the dead, regardless of gestational age.
Employers should consider offering bereavement leave for miscarriage just as they would for the loss of legally recognized, live-born children. If parents can secure the remains of their precious child, either by collection from an at-home miscarriage or from the hospital following a surgical procedure, they can request a funeral and burial in a Catholic cemetery. We can pray for the souls of all these lost children, by name whenever possible.
While baptism may not be a possibility, the Church does have an Order of Naming and Commendation of an Infant Who Died Before Birth. Certain cemeteries offer designated areas for the burial of miscarried or stillborn children, sometimes free of charge. Some organizations coordinate shared burial services, connecting hospitals, funeral homes, local churches, and cemeteries, at little or no cost to parents. Pastors should know about and offer these options.
There are also groups that offer support during and after miscarriage, including practical guidance on identifying and preserving the baby’s remains. They may also offer products for purchase, such as collection kits and containers or little caskets. Several provide bereavement or remembrance programs. Examples include Catholic Miscarriage Support, Heaven’s Gain Ministries, and A Mom’s Peace. These are incredible sources of aid in a time of need.
We can all spread awareness of these resources, whether they are needed now or not. This will remind others that tiny children in the womb deserve to be treated as persons, perhaps most especially in how we mourn their loss and care for their remains.
John A. Di Camillo, PH.D., BE.L., is an ethicist at The National Catholic Bioethics Center. He applies Catholic moral theology to science and medicine through writing, speaking and fielding hundreds of inficidual and organizational consultations each year. He lives in Lancaster County, PA, with his wife, Serena, and their children.