‘Staying the course’ in college only begins with going to Mass

It’s a tragic story heard too often: “My (child/grandchild) abandoned the Catholic faith in college.” It’s easy to blame the college, liberal professors or students, or simply the contrary influences of our secular culture. Ultimately, however, the student must make the willful choice to practice and deepen his or her Catholic faith and to withstand such challenges when away from home.
 
Parents and grandparents whose loved ones go away to school might harbor concerns as to how prepared they are for the inevitable distractions that might slacken their Catholic faith, no matter how well they have been formed. Sometimes the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak; good intentions and commitments can fall by the wayside when temptations for sloth and self-indulgence threaten to draw them off the right path.
 
A student who desires to live his or her Catholic faith must take concrete steps to make it happen. That begins with forming good habits in prayer and worship, including weekly Mass and regular Confession. It also involves seeking out a Catholic faith community and solid Catholic friends to help stay on track.
 
Here are a few pointers from Catholic writers on fostering faith-building relationships that parents and grandparents can pass along to their degree-seeking children and grandchildren.

Identity and purpose

First, urge them to keep this in mind: “You are a beloved child of God, and you are called to live according to that dignity.” That awareness gives meaning and purpose to every aspect of life, including their collegiate years.

“The purpose of our time in college is to love the Lord more deeply and to develop the skills to serve Him more effectively,” writes Aurora Griffin in How I Stayed Catholic at Harvard: 40 Tips for Faithful College Students. “Living out my faith in college was not something I did in addition to my schoolwork, extracurriculars, and social life but was something that shaped how I experienced all those things.”

Griffin’s faith, she goes on to explain, kept her motivated to be diligent in studies, to invest her time in good relationships, and to steer clear of the “dangers and drama” of the college party culture. As a result, her college years were both happy and successful, and she graduated with a sense of deep peace and purpose.
 
“[L]iving out your faith will lead you to make decisions that are conducive to success and happiness, in college and in life,” she said.

Find your spiritual ‘home’

One of the first things a student must do, within the first days on campus or even prior to arrival, is to determine the logistics of getting to Mass. Where is the nearest Catholic church or chapel? What’s the schedule for Mass and Confessions? The first Sunday or holy day will come quickly, so be prepared to get started on the right foot.
 
If it’s not a Catholic college, it might nevertheless have a Catholic presence on campus such as a Newman Center or a Catholic student group. At some secular colleges, the Catholic group arranges carpools to Mass off campus. However you get to Mass, that parish or campus ministry becomes your spiritual home, your family in faith.
 
“Even greater than the brotherhood or sisterhood that is found in fraternities and sororities is the family you have in Christ,” writes Jackie François in Life Teen’s Moving Forward: Staying Catholic in College. “Find a good young adult community that will affirm your faith and values, challenge you to live out the Gospel daily, and provide holy friendships.”
 
Your inner circle 

Those friendships are vital to a college student’s growth and commitment in faith. Christ called His apostles and gave them a mission into the world, but first He formed them into a tight community to strengthen one another. Likewise, parents and grandparents should urge their young collegians to find committed Catholic friends to form their inner circle and provide mutual support and encouragement for living their shared faith.
 
Writing in the Life Teen book, Mark Hart advises inviting a close Catholic friend on campus “to hold you accountable” for attending Mass and remaining faithful. “Give them permission to call you out if you get lazy or if they see you start to drift morally,” he says. “Do the same for them.”

The choice of friends is the most important decision to make in college, says Christopher Kaczor in How to Stay Catholic in College.
 
“The friends you choose to have are going to be essential in enabling you to do well in your academic life and your faith life,” Kaczor writes. “Be discerning and picky. Do these people ‘bring me up’ in terms of doing well and living a Catholic life, or do they ‘drag me down’?”

Family counts

Above all, parents and grandparents must realize they can exert a positive influence on their loved ones in college.

“One of the most important resources I had for staying Catholic in college was my family,” writes Aurora Griffin. “When I felt isolated because I refused to binge drink or be promiscuous or approve of the latest secular agenda, they told me how proud they were. They helped me to put my schoolwork and student activities in perspective by offering my college years to God.

“Don’t underestimate the importance of your continued support and prayers!”

GERALD KORSON
is editor of Legatus magazine.