Secrets to a successful partnership

Separation of work and home

Sean and Karen Miller have been members of the Kansas City Chapter for the past year, and Karen is the chapter’s new president. Sean recently retired as CEO of The Robert E. Miller Group of Kansas City, MO, an insurance and benefits broker. The company was founded by his father 61 years ago and was purchased by Sean and his brother 30 years ago. The company of 65 employees has been selected by the Kansas City Business Journal as the best place to work in the city for the past five consecutive years.

“Since we bought the business from my dad, we’ve grown 800 percent,” said Sean. “Like running any business, it is challenging, but we have good people.”

The firm reflects the values of the Jesuit education instilled in his father, Sean continued, including prayer before business meetings. “The Jesuits’ motto was Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam, ‘For the Greater Glory of God,’ and that is the purpose of our company,” he said. “We keep God, family, and community first in our business. You see it on the wallpaper when you enter.”

Sean is the last to interview job applicants before they are hired, and he shares the company’s values and practices, including prayer before meetings. “I tell them if that is something you don’t like, this is not the company for you,” he said.

He and Karen have four grown children together. In years past, when the children were young, Sean put in a 12-hour workday Monday through Friday. However, Sean said, “When I was done, I was done. I didn’t work weekends, and I coached basketball, so I was there for the kids’ practices and games.”

Karen added, “Sean was really good about it in comparison to other families we’ve known. We’d go on vacation every year, and when Sean was on vacation, he was on vacation. He’d rarely call the office or go to work on the computer.”

Karen quit her job to become a full-time mom when they married, but she noted that when Sean came home from work, “He took over. He loved feeding the kids, giving them baths, and playing with them. He took care of the kids so I could cook dinner or do whatever I needed to do.”

Part of what helped him leave work at the office, Sean said, was planning out the following day’s work before leaving the office. “I did that at the end of every day,” he explained. “Then, I’d shut my planner, go home and I was done with work.”

Focus on priorities

Jim and Jody Akers of Legatus’ Cincinnati Chapter have six children together, the youngest age 35. Jim is CEO of a Midwestern family business that manufactures shipping containers. They joined Legatus four years ago, and today Jim serves as chapter president and Jody as program chair.

Jim is a self-described “workaholic,” but recalled that when the couple’s third child was born, he gave up activities with male friends, such as weekend golf. “When I was not at work,” he recalled, “I was home and present to the family.”

Like Sean, he began coaching his children’s basketball teams, bringing the younger children in tow with him to practices so that Jody could have a break at home. Jody was a full-time mom, which suited her fine: “I never felt the need to work outside the home,” she said. “My only goal in life was to raise good kids.”

While they always had a good marriage, something that helped them in their lives was a Marriage Encounter weekend, “a way to make a good marriage great,” said Jim. “It really reminded us of the importance of good communication, and not holding back on things we should talk about.”

The couple began taking early morning walks and “making time for each other,” said Jody. “A good foundation in a family started with a good husband-wife relationship, and the benefits are exponential from there.”

As they got more involved in their faith, they added such elements as saying the rosary together on their walks, as well as daily Mass and monthly Confession. “We’re on a faith journey together, and receive graces together,” Jim said.
 
A team effort

Bill and Mary Beth Fessler are members of the Fairfield County Chapter in Connecticut, and today they have four adult children in their 30s. Unlike the Millers or Akers, both Fesslers worked when their children were small. Bill is a dentist, and Mary Beth is a nurse practitioner.
 
When their children were at home, Bill worked six days a week, and Mary Beth once or twice a week in the evenings as well as on an occasional weekend. She also went back to school when their youngest was 3.

Working in the medical profession makes for a challenge in family life. “It’s not a 9-to-5, Monday through Friday job,” said Mary Beth. “You get a call in the evening or over the weekend, a patient says he’s been injured and in pain, and you’re needed, so you go. It’s not a profession, but a calling.”

Yet despite the demands of their jobs, “Family and faith always come first,” she continued. The couple made use of a babysitter at times, but otherwise, whoever was at home cared for the children. “It was a team effort.”

The couple made many sacrifices and worked hard, “but it’s a good thing for the children to see,” added Mary Beth.

The pair have benefitted much from their involvement with Legatus, not only as a place to meet other Catholic couples “but to normalize the practice of our Catholic faith in a social setting,” she said.

JIM GRAVES is a contributing writer for Legatus magazine.