One family at a time

Father Leo writes that family meals improve and strengthen family relationships . . .

Common sense isn’t so common. That applies with poignant accuracy when it comes to finding solutions to society’s ills. Americans spend billions without results, but improvement doesn’t characterize the results, especially when observing society’s microcosm: the family. Perhaps we ought to spend something more valuable than money — time with our families around the kitchen table!

I once naïvely supported a movement to repeal Maryland’s “blue law,” which restricted commerce on Sundays. Shopping overshadowed the reason why businesses slowed down one day a week in the first place. The reason: to spend time as a family. My attitude was shaped by a secular world that force-fed me to believe that material gains equal happiness. Eventually, this prodigal child came to his senses! Mea culpa!

My previous attitude, though not sinful per se, was wrong in se — and at best unhelpful to the goal of improving society. Our microwavable fast-food-paced society has made families hunger for all the wrong stuff. Indicative and symptomatic of this ME-ology (rather than obedience to the wisdom of THEOlogy) is the ironic and even hypocritical lifestyle of today’s family. Parents work extra long hours to sacrifice for the family, but instead are sacrificing the family.

Another painful reaction is the starvation for a family meal. Commercializing Thanksgiving demonstrates the reality of a family meal’s unmistakable importance. Do we eat with enemies? Then why are family meals eaten together so rare?

Enter “Grace Before Meals,” a movement I started with the entrepreneurial skills of Tim Watkins, president of Renegade Productions and member of Legatus’ Baltimore Chapter. This worldwide movement actually started off as a joke. But God’s sense of humor showed that something simple in His hands can be used to feed the masses.

Grace Before Meals is built on the simple premise that a regular family meal can improve and strengthen family relationships. However, it’s more than food. The shared wisdom of the family, coupled with the inspired wisdom of the Church (our universal family), is transmitted to children around a very important desk: the dining room table. The table is where Jesus taught some of his greatest lessons. He offered more than just food. His greatest lesson of love was eventually turned into a culinary command: Take this all of you, eat and drink, for unless you eat the Body and drink the Blood, you will have no life in you. It’s a sin not to share in the Lord’s Supper because we are starving ourselves by not eating the Bread of Life and not drinking the Cup of eternal salvation.

In all of its simplicity, a regular family meal is a simple step for a better world, even if it’s a hard pill to swallow for busy people. A poll conducted by the Associated Press and MTV asked teens: “What makes you happy?” The No. 1 answer: spending time with family. Go figure! Maybe the pop culture mentality of modern media will finally air shows like Grace Before Meals that encourages (rather than poking fun at) traditional families. Perhaps media should eliminate (or at least stop producing) shows that promote desperate household infidelity, which subliminally encourage divorce as something more normal than “normal” families.

Grace Before Meals (the television pilot, cookbook and movement) has been given positive media coverage. We’ve been featured on the CBS Sunday Morning Show, Fox and Friends, PBS Religion and Ethics, the front page of the Washington Post. I’ve traveled the country giving presentations, cooking demos (including the most recent Legatus Summit) and retreats built around the great gift of food!

We were given a great boost in publicity when the Food Network filmed some segments for a show I thought would be about our movement. While the show did highlight the importance of a family meal, it also turned out to be a surprise cooking competition with one of the world’s greatest celebrity chefs on Throwdown! With Bobby Flay.

God’s grace was with me on that day. I won the competition! This fun opportunity was truly “religious” in that it brought family, friends and even celebrity chefs to the dinner table. It shows that Grace Before Meals is never limited to a 10-15 second prayer before you eat. Grace occurs when we do something loving for one another, like feeding God’s flock.

Some people ask if I want to do more TV cooking competitions. My standard response is: “I want to cooperate with God’s plan — even if I have to simply stir the pot and feed the flock.”

If God wants me to share in his mission to save the world’s families, then I must start serving up satisfying meals — beginning with the Food and Drink that I serve at every Mass.

Yes, God wants to save the world and our families. And he can do it one dinner table at a time, beginning at His dinner table. Happy feasting!

Father Leo E. Patalinghug, STL, is a priest of the Archdiocese of Baltimore and a faculty member at Mt. St. Mary’s Seminary in Emmitsburg, Md. He is the author of “Grace Before Meals: Recipes for Family Life.” To learn more, visit gracebeforemeals.com