Learn to recognize and respond to the signs of trauma

As a traumatologist, I'm amazed at the commonality with which trauma affects survivors across cultures. Horrible things happen to people all around the world. Symptoms range from minor adjustments to lifestyle, difficult feelings, and coping patterns to psychotic breaks, suicidal ideation, hallucinations, and catatonia — along with deep emotional, physical, and sexual pain that can last a lifetime. 

Mass is often where hurting people seek solace and hope in the resurrected Christ and the love of the Blessed Mother, and perhaps a way out of a life they did not ask for. Although the Mass brings people together in worship, many who come remain invisible in their pain and trauma.

Trauma is easy to hide, yet its effects can disrupt personalities, end relationships, and affect individuals throughout their lives without intervention. As a mental health specialist, I have seen trauma enter people’s lives in many ways. Trauma is never wanted, certainly never invited, stays too long, and doesn’t have the decency to go away.

When I first entered the counseling field, I worked with another therapist 20 years my senior named Mary Anne. I was amazed by her insights into the lives of those who had survived early childhood sexual trauma and domestic violence. I later learned her insights came from life experience.

Mary Anne’s parents divorced when she was very young, and her mother then settled for a man who, unbeknown to her, had an affinity for underage girls. He began grooming seven-year-old Mary Anne over a period of months as tickle games progressed to touching games. At the age of 10, she became his “surrogate wife.” When this was discovered, Mary Anne’s mom divorced the man and moved out of state, but soon married another man who repeated the cycle.

My colleague managed to escape through education and the help of a kind, safe, and supportive teacher who encouraged her to overcome her fears and succeed in school. Through therapy and solid mentors, she became an impressive advocate for sexual trauma survivors. I worked with Mary Anne for four-and-a-half years before I saw what was behind those wise eyes, that inspiring smile, and that amazing heart.

One day I was approached by a crying and shriveled woman who had a violent and controlling husband, four children under 10 at home, and no way to extricate herself. She had periodically left for her parents but always returned due to a lack of funds and the hardship of single parenting. I referred her to the local shelter for abused women, connected her to resources within the church, and found her a trauma-informed therapist so she could heal from this damaging relationship. She was ready to escape; sadly, domestic violence survivors return to their abusers an average of seven times before they leave permanently.

These are two examples of hidden trauma. How many of you attend Mass with people from Puerto Rico who suffered the ravages of hurricanes, earthquakes, and poor resource management? How many are there from California who fled the fires, perhaps having lost homes and families? How many have escaped sexual trafficking? Or refugees who experienced war and starvation only to come here and struggle to survive? The list is endless.

What can you do? It starts with awareness. Look around you. Listen to God’s voice when you feel a tug to engage in conversation when you see pain and hurt in someone’s eyes. Become attuned to empathic responses regarding those around you. Open your heart to Jesus’ words: “as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me” (Matt. 25:40).

Benjamin B. Keyes, PH.D., ED.D., L.P.C., C.M.T., is the executive director of Green Cross Academy of Traumatology and a professor, director of the Center for Trauma and Resiliency Studies, and a director for training and internship at Divine Mercy University in Sterling, Va. Legatus and Divine Mercy University have partnered to bring DMU programs to Legatus employees, members, and their families. DMU is a graduate-level institution providing online and on-campus degrees in Psychology and Counseling.