King family: Living large

Orlando Legatus members are raising five boys, seven girls in a joy-filled family . . .

When Troy and Christy King go out with their children, heads inevitably turn. It’s not just because their children are bright-eyed and beautiful. It’s because there are 12 of them — five boys and seven girls ranging from six months to 11 years. Seven are adopted, and they have a set of twins. “My kids are like little celebrities,” Christy said with an infectious Louisiana-Lilt in her voice. “They are in a Catholic school and the next largest family has five children.”

Instilling the faith

The King Family

The Kings, members of Legatus’ Orlando Chapter, have always been favorable to adoption. When they met at Louisiana State University, they had a mutual friend who was adopted.

“When you meet someone who is so well adapted to his upbringing, it’s more attractive,” said Troy.

After their first two children were born, Christy had a few miscarriages. The painful experiences brought the Kings to consider adoption.

“The funny thing was that when we came home with our first adopted child, Christy discovered that she was expecting again,” said Troy.

All of the couple’s adopted children were placed with them as babies, including one born with cerebral palsy. Although three of their children are in Catholic school, the Kings don’t take for granted that teachers will teach the faith better than they can.

“When my eldest daughter started school, I don’t know why, but I expected everyone in the school to be Catholic,” she said. “The very first day at school, I heard other moms discuss their birth control. It was then that we realized that we were in charge of their education.”

The Kings say a prayer on the way to school, grace before meals and an occasional family rosary. When they do, they allow their children to take turns leading. Older children share their intentions.

In terms of the challenges of raising a large family of both adopted and biological children, the Kings are extremely upbeat. They don’t discriminate between their adopted and biological children.

“Before we adopted, we wondered if we would love the child as much as our own, but they are all ‘our own’ once you have them,” Troy explained. “It’s the least of our questions.”

In fact, when the Kings’ adopted friend from LSU visits, he refuses to be told which children are adopted and which are biological.

According to clinical psychologist Dr. Ray Guarendi, the No. 1 fear couples have with adoption is that they don’t know what they are going to “get” genetically, historically or temperamentally.

Guarendi, father of 10 adopted children and author of Adoption: Choosing It, Living It, Loving It, believes this attitude is irrational.

“You never know what you are going to get with any child,” he said. “Genetics is not destiny. A child can be drug-exposed or premature or have a mother with a genetic pre-disposition, but that is not an automatic determination of who the child is going to be. Our Lord said, ‘Whoever welcomes one of these, welcomes me’ and ‘Take care of the widow and the orphan.’ There was no asterisk there saying ‘unless you know what you are going to get.’”

There have been moments when the Kings have heard disparaging remarks, but Christy says they have developed thick skin.

Once, when the couple was expecting their sixth child, an elderly man shouted at them that they should “get a TV!”

Troy laughs it off and notes that older folks seem to have the biggest problem with their family size. When the Kings go to Disney World or an airport, younger people tend to stop, stare and start counting — which, incidentally, is what the couple does when the family goes out: constant headcounts.

The Kings say they feel the greatest joy during the normal moments experienced in any Catholic family.

“We sit back and watch our 18-month-old in her highchair try to do the sign of the cross,” said Troy. “She keeps pecking her head as we are saying grace. Or our three-year-old mimics our prayers as we do a family rosary, and I just think to myself, ‘This is really cool and really important.’ They see what we are doing. As they grow, they will understand that this is a part of them and the fabric of their lives.”

Impacting others

Sam and Sally Lavergne, members of Legatus’ Baton Rouge Chapter and godparents of two King children, have known the couple for years. They drive to Orlando and spend Thanksgiving with the Kings every year.

“What I see is how much love and tolerance they have for these kids,” said Sam. “It’s amazing to spend time with them. They do so well with them, and my four kids — ages 16 to 26 — really embrace that.”

Troy and Christy King

“Both Christy and Troy have such tremendous trust in God,” Sally said. “Whatever comes their way, they accept and seek to do God’s will. For example, they might get a phone call about a baby that needs to be adopted and they pray about it. It’s amazing. I feel very blessed to have a relationship with the Kings.”

Monsignor Patrick Caverly, their pastor at Annunciation Parish, calls them a “superb family.”

“They all attend Mass together, sit in the front pew and are never less than attentive,” he said. “They make ‘cry rooms’ obsolete. They are a blessing to us.”

Sometimes Troy and Christy think about the lives their adopted children could have had, and they believe God brought them together for a reason.

“If we can try and bring more people to heaven, this is our way of doing that. We feel that it’s our calling,” said Troy.

“Being in a large family is a big gift to them, especially when they get older,” said Christy. “They will learn to stand up to adversity and say, ‘This is what we believe,’ because they will have done it their whole lives.”

Sabrina Arena Ferrisi is a Legatus Magazine staff writer.