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Forums pose good questions – to inspire answers
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November 1, 2020
Last month, we talked about listening, and how Legatus forums provide members the chance to sharpen that pivotal leadership skill. What prepares any forum member to listen? Asking a good question.
What’s a good question? One that invites all members to express themselves without fear of judgement. Good questions help members examine issues more closely and think outside the box – and in the end, spur forward-movement.
Good questions engage members to share from personal experiences, not tell anyone what to do. Good questions make members think. I clearly recall a time in one of my forum meetings I was chomping at the bit to give my two cents, AKA “free advice.” Before I chimed in, one of my forum brothers asked a question that let us all think more introspectively. I was glad I hadn’t jumped in with what I thought was “the” answer. Whoever asks the question controls the communication. I continue to learn a lot from my forum brothers.
Good questions come from intent listening, and few things strengthen relationships like it. But it’s good questions that set you up to listen well. Long before Steven Covey penned his 7 Habits bestseller, there was the line from St. Francis of Assisi’s prayer, “O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek… to be understood as to understand.” This is the spirit of good listening.
Everyone wants to feel understood. That calls for use of varying communication skills. In my experience, lack of good questions is often at fault. It takes intentional effort to ask rather than advise.
A thoughtful balance must be struck between listening, asking, and talking. If any of these is over-used, connections suffer. We suggest assessing your forum a few times per year on how well it’s working. In fact, make it an agenda item— “forum continuous improvement.” And don’t relegate this pulse-taking to an email survey.
Good questions shouldn’t satisfy our curiosity, but help others discover insights to solve problems. Forums aren’t self-help groups but they help each member learn and grow, which comes through asking good questions, not giving advice.
Think of questions Jesus asked…“But who do you say that I am?” (Luke 18:41). And some were open-ended… “Show me a coin. Whose likeness and inscription has it?” (Luke 20:24). Christ, the perfect leader, employed powerful questions.
Asking good questions leads to insight, wisdom, and prudent action. Good questions are informed by listening. Next forum—think questions, not advice. Drucker said, “The leader of the past knew how to tell. The leader of the future will know how to ask.” What’s your tell vs. ask rate?
MIKE MCCARTNEY and his wife, Molly, are members of The Genesis Chapter. He has served on the National Board of Governors, and currently works with Legatus to help launch and strengthen Forums.
