Forums fine-tune intentional listening

Just how important is good listening for business leaders? For spouses? For any Christian who wants to grow in a relationship with God? Our Lord tells us how important listening is — “ Whoever has ears ought to hear” Matt 13:9.

Good listening is essential for leaders at all levels, and my Legatus Forum is helping me become a better listener. How? Deliberate practice. My fellow Legatus Forum members and I come to each meeting with great intention to listen, to focus attention on whomever is speaking, like he is the only one in the room. Listen to understand is a ground rule for us.

Listening is vitally important because it underpins all relationships. And we don’t do it as well as we think we do; we all have room for improvement. Just ask your spouse! Ask for an idea on how you could listen better – I’ll bet you’ll get an answer you can use. Ask that same question to a few people at work … then listen closely. The answers they give will be determined by how well they think you listen.

The meaty part of the forum meeting is the discussion. Here, a member serves up a business or personal situation or interesting topic for the group to explore. The member doesn’t want advice as much as the chance to hear himself think out loud, to look at the situation in a different light, or uncover other issues he’s overlooked. In order to ask the member good questions, the rest of us have to really listen. We don’t ask to satisfy our own curiosity, but rather to help a member explore his own ideas, or challenge him in supportive ways.

Any Forum member will tell you that the chance to share what’s on his heart or head, in strict confidence with like-minded Catholics who’ll listen without judgement or give rapid-fire responses for how to fix something, is extremely helpful. Good listening makes for a fruitful and enduring forum.

How do you get better at listening? You practice. Legatus Forums provide the chance to intentionally listen to others. And in the process, we help each other grow. I know that in our Forum, we’ve all become better listeners. And better listeners make for better leaders, better spouses, better friends. It is truly a skill that stands apart.

MIKE MCCARTNEY and his wife, Molly, are members of The Genesis Chapter. He has served on the National Board of Governors, and currently works with Legatus to help launch and strengthen Forums.