If you pray and go to Mass regularly, why do you do it? Your answer likely fits into one of three generic answers. Your answer will determine whether you move into a personal relationship with Jesus.

Fr. John Bartunkek, LC

First, we can pray and worship out of routine. It’s like punching a spiritual time clock. We’ve always prayed, always gone to Mass, and we feel a kind of comfortable inertia in continuing to do so. We have a vague sense that we ought to do such things, and we have a vague sense that if we fail to do them, we will feel guilty for some reason. So we keep going through the motions of being Catholic.

When I was in eighth grade, I remember sleeping over at a friend’s house. As we went down to the basement, his parents were sitting on the couch watching television, the wife cuddling against the husband, who had his arm around her. Two months later they were divorced. My friend told me that they just kept up appearances for the kids’ sake, but there was no love in it. That’s falling into routine.

Second, we can pray and worship out of fear. This can be akin to superstition. We have the idea in our heads that if we stop going to Mass or praying the rosary, God will punish us and maybe even send us to hell. In this case, our spiritual commitments (prayer and worship) are like paying taxes to a tyrant or being extorted by a strongman: If we pay our dues, the Boss won’t bother us.

In ancient pagan religions, proper worship depended on following formulas exactly. A priest had to offer an elaborate ceremony with perfect execution or the god would not be pleased. During the ceremony, if the priest sneezed, for example, he would have to start over again. In this religious vision, people are not children of a loving Father but slaves of angry, fickle and aloof deities.

Third, we can pray and worship out of conviction. The word conviction comes from the same word that gives us convinced. Religious conviction is an internal state of assurance with regard to religious truth. The primary reason convinced Christians pray and worship is because they sincerely believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God; they believe that he deserves their praise, and they need his grace.

If our spiritual life flows from conviction, then the actual activity we engage in during our times of prayer is conscious: We pay attention to the meaning of the words, we lift our hearts to God in thanksgiving and adoration, and we strive to conform how we live to God’s will. In this case, our faith actually connects our mind and heart to God during our prayer. We are not just going through motions, not just paying our dues; we are actually encountering the God who speaks to his beloved children through the revelation of Jesus Christ.

FR. JOHN BARTUNEK, LC, is a former professional actor who became a Catholic priest in 2003. This column is printed with permission from his book Answers: Catholic Advice for Your Spiritual Questions (Servant Books, 2014).

Catechism 101

In the New Covenant, prayer is the living relationship of the children of God with their Father who is good beyond measure, with his Son Jesus Christ and with the Holy Spirit. The grace of the Kingdom is “the union of the entire holy and royal Trinity … with the whole human spirit.” Thus, the life of prayer is the habit of being in the presence of the thrice-holy God and in communion with him. This communion of life is always possible because, through Baptism, we have already been united with Christ. Prayer is Christian insofar as it is communion with Christ and extends throughout the Church, which is his Body.

Catechism of the Catholic Church, #2565