What parents must do as primary educators of kids

Church tradition tells us that parents are the primary educators of their children even in matters of religion. It pertains to the parents to do the day-to-day job of forming the minds of their children regarding those things which they are to believe regarding the Catholic faith. The goal of parenting is for the child to reach the age of majority with an adequate knowledge of his Catholic faith and the sufficient virtues to lead a Catholic life. 

Proper intellectual formation is one of the primary means to achieve that end. In order to arrive at a state in which he can lead a good and holy Catholic life, a child must acquire the requisite knowledge to do so. Unfortunately, in the last 50 years, the catechetical instruction of children, often done by parish programs, specifically leaves out key areas of the Catholic faith that are necessary in order to gain that integral understanding — key elements such as the Church’s moral teaching on matters pertaining to the Sixth and Ninth Commandments, the distinction between mortal and venial sin, and the necessity of grace in order to be pleasing to God.

Children are rational creatures and have an intellect, so there must be an appeal to their intellect in teaching the truths of the Catholic faith. Leaving out key elements of the faith or not presenting them in an intellectually compelling way leaves the child disposed toward leaving the Catholic faith for something that appeals to his emotions. It is said that Protestant intellectuals are joining the Catholic faith while the Catholics who are ignorant of their faith are leaving the Church. Parents can never presume that the program at the local parish is doing its job. They must ensure that their children are receiving the proper catechetical background.

While sufficient knowledge of the Catholic faith is key, there is a psychological side to how children learn, especially in light of the virtue of religion. There is a form of learning called implicit knowledge which essentially consists in the fact that our intellects are designed to make associations based upon what we see and experience. It is implicit because these associations are often made without us being aware of it. For example, if in a particular set of circumstances a parent becomes angry, a child learns that is the proper emotional response in those circumstances. Similarly, children learn religious behavior based upon what they see their parents doing. If a child hears about the Catholic faith but never sees his parents attending Mass, going to Confession, or praying on a regular basis, intellectually he will not associate those activities as important.

While women also have the great privilege of forming the minds of their children according to the teaching of the Church, the Fathers of the Church teach us that it pertains to the father to confirm the religious practices and beliefs of the family. If the mother teaches the Catholic faith but the father does not live it, consistent experience has shown that the children will not take their faith seriously. If the father tries to promote the Catholic faith but the mother does not teach it, the children end up ignorant of the Catholic faith.

Therefore, two key elements in raising children who will live their Catholic faith after they reach the age of majority are an adequate intellectual formation regarding the tenets of the Catholic faith and a consistent living of that faith by the parents, who then also habituate the child in the virtue of religion throughout the course of his life.

Fr. Chad Ripperger is a member of the Society of the Most Sorrowful Mother, a semi-contemplative society of priests whose sole apostolate, other than prayer, is exorcism and deliverance. He has published numerous articles and books and runs Sensus Traditionis Press.