The strong will can get in its own way

The strong will, as we are using the term here, is not to be confused with the will that seeks greatness. The will that seeks greatness courageously discerns and chooses the good and directs the appetite toward it. The strong will, on the other hand, is dominated by taking action and often asserts independently of the intellect or the consideration of anyone else. If the weak will is often too inconsistent and flighty, then the strong will is often too stubborn and self-righteous. Strong-willed people are motivated by their ego and their belief that their way is the right way and the only way. If they do not learn to submit to the will of others, they can become selfish and domineering, while assuming that they are helping others when they are really only seeking to help themselves. The strong-willed person tends to dominate others. He also is reluctant to let others participate in his becoming the person he is called to be. It is important to know that a strong will can be found in both the stoic loner and the self-righteous leader.

The stoic loner is the self-assured thinker who cannot be convinced of anything that he has not concluded on his own. We are familiar with caricature of the know-it-all who does not consider the ideas of those with opposing views. In fact, such a person often shows contempt toward those who disagree with him.

The self-righteous leader is the person of action whose will dominates and even destroys the will of others. He not only knows the solution; he knows what he must do and cannot be convinced otherwise. People who disagree or suggest other ways to address the problem are often seen as obstacles rather than allies. This stubbornness often reveals itself as an “I know best,” and “you are either with me or against me” attitude. Such a person cannot admit failure without blaming someone else. In extreme cases, this type of person asserts his will by trying to control the will of others, either through manipulation or force. He often assumes that he has things figured out and is not easily humbled. In the Western world, the strong-willed person is sometimes seen as the natural leader, as he takes charge of situations and gets things done. However, a strong will does not on its own qualify a person to lead, and it does not ensure that a person will lead others to a good place.

Those with strong wills have a difficult time surrendering and submitting to God. One reason is that they have a hard time admitting that they have been wrong or that they need guidance from outside themselves. L

Excerpt from The Willpower Advantage: Building Habits for Lasting Happiness, by Tom Peterson and Ryan Hanning (Ignatius Press, 2020), pp. 65-66.
www.ignatius.com.

TOM PETERSON, an At-Large Southeast member, is founder of Catholics Come Home and hosts the popular EWTN TV series by the same name. A former advertising executive, he also founded VirtueMedia.org and the new evangelization apostolate AmenAlleluia.com.

RYAN HANNING, Ph.D., has taught college and business students classical philosophy and historical theology for over 15 years. Currently, he teaches at University of Mary and assists the Catechetical Institute at Franciscan University of Steubenville.