Respecting life involves sacrifice and ceding control

The real problem with many people accepting a pro-life position on various fronts isn’t with acceptance of life itself. Their hesitance is with embracing the necessary sacrifices that honoring life entails.

Our country is on the precipice of another combative Supreme Court confirmation battle, really about the ‘threat’ of losing legalized controls over life. But the timing and purpose of each life — no matter its inconvenience or imperfections — belong uniquely to God.

People are more than “lives” — they are souls for which others must extend love and sacrifice, so each may thrive and learn about his future with God. God treasures all His souls — Christ told St. Peter this explicitly. When Peter couldn’t understand the reasoning for Christ’s impending death — that He would ready a place for each person in heaven — He said to Peter: In my Father’s house are many rooms; … I go to prepare a place for you … that where I am you may be also (John 14:2-3).

It’s our job to help each soul — including our own — to get there.

But people see yielding to God in this realm as messing up their own plans. And when plans turn inside out, it is mortifying to realize we really aren’t in control.

I’ve been there.

On a crisp October morning over 30 years ago, as I was readying for an ad agency presentation, having bought a new suit and heels, and earmarking extra time to arrive early, I learned I was expecting our first child. We were married just five months. I remember my first thought was, “Now? We have so much planned first. Fixing up our house, new furniture on order, a couple of trips. I’m up for a promotion.” I lost my appetite for breakfast, and stared blankly during the drive into the office. My face was virus-white when I walked in.

I stopped into the production department to check on art boards and handouts for the pitch. It was then the production manager, a great guy with a houseful of rowdy kids (who always tore through the office), noticed my expression. “Sit down at my desk,” he said.

“So when’s the little guy due?” he asked. “It’s written all over your face!” But then came the twist, when I realized what a decent man he was. “Children are the best part of marriage, and a great entrustment from God,” he said. I began to mull that over. “Your gift came nice and early,” he said, “and you’ll never be the same person once that little child graces your lives.”

And I never was the same person.

My husband and I learned to work together in good times and bad; in abundance and need, with a partnered vision for deferring to God. I’ve hardly been patient or long-suffering. Or even frugal. And heck, I still love a good argument.

Our eldest son Andrew is 32 now, married with three little boys – our “chirplings.” God’s tapestry of life is most spectacular. Glad I didn’t have my way – we would have missed so much.

CHRISTINE VALENTINE-OWSIK is Legatus Magazine’s editor.