Past sins, unforgiveness are roadblocks to grace

The motto of the British special forces, or Special Air Service (SAS), is Who Dares Wins. David certainly exemplified this daring when he boldly raced toward Goliath on the field of battle. One thing that prevents boldness in the spiritual life, however, is the weightiness of past sins. When David put on Saul’s armor, it was so heavy that he could hardly move. To describe how heavy and awkward the armor was, the narrative literally states that “he walked with difficulty” (1 Sam 17:39). 

Unforgiveness works in a similar way. It wears you down and makes you vulnerable. Unforgiving people may think holding onto their pain provides them protection from future wounds, but the opposite is true.

An obex is an obstacle, barrier, or blockage, and here it means anything that blocks the flow of grace to the soul. In an analogous way, sin weighs down the soul like the heavy weight of Saul’s armor, inhibiting life, movement, and growth. An obex to grace, then, is anything that encumbers the soul by weighing down and restricting movement, thus making it “difficult to walk” — let alone engage in spiritual combat. 

In fact, persistence in sin and the failure to break both physical and spiritual ties to past sins are major impediments to your relationship with God. This spiritual baggage is like heavy armor blocking the flow of grace. A hardened unrepentance and a failure to see your own faults, therefore, are the first obices which must be removed.

Unforgiveness of others stands in direct opposition to the command of the Lord, who taught us to pray, according to Saint Luke: “Forgive us our sins for we ourselves forgive everyone in debt to us” (Luke 11:4). Accordingly, a lack of forgiveness is a major obex which burdens the soul and restricts the flow of grace. This means surrendering any claim, even rightful ones, over anyone who has hurt you. In fact, the more rightful the claim you may have, the more merit there is when you surrender it to God. 

Saint Matthew teaches how Jesus gave further instructions on His words in the Lord’s Prayer of “forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matt 6:12, emphasis added). He says that “your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your transgressions” (Matt 6:14-15). 

The emotions of anger, brooding, and retaliation have weighed on you and impeded your movement like heavy armor. Forgiving others is a willful act that sheds the heavy burden and helps to reopen the flow of grace. Just as David shed the awkward and heavy armor (see 1 Sam 17:39), so must you shed these interior habits.