Managing the business of love

Couples who work together must balance relationship across career and family life.

Marriage has challenges all its own, as every married couple will attest. But what if they’re in business together?

Such a comingling of professional and family life might seem fraught with downsides that invite tension or failure, but many couples navigate these waters successfully through their shared vision, solid communication skills, and a strong common faith.

Here’s how two such doubles make it work.

Family law

Damon and Andrea Neagle, Legates of the Lehigh Valley (PA) Chapter, met at Washington University School of Law in St. Louis, married, and led fulfilling and separate professional careers for years before Damon started his own legal practice in 2003. His firm, Design IP, which specializes in intellectual property law, began with but a single client, recalled Andrea.

“I took over the ‘breadwinner’ role, knowing I would serve in that role for at least a few years until Damon’s practice was up and running,” Andrea said. “At this point, we did not have any plans to work together in the future.”

Andrea returned to her demanding job as a litigation attorney after taking maternity leave for the birth of their first child, Elizabeth, later that year. By the time Catherine was born two years later, Damon’s firm had expanded enough that Andrea could become a stay-athome mother and begin managing the accounts in Damon’s practice.

“Transitioning from a full-time litigation lawyer to a stay-at-home mom was a bigger change than I ever imagined,” Andrea admitted. Her new role in Damon’s firm brought her into the office occasionally and helped grow the practice.

In time, Andrea came on board full time as CFO and executive director of Design IP, which now comprises a team of six attorneys and two paralegals.

“Through the years, Damon has supported me as both his business partner and his spouse, handing over increasing management responsibilities as my time allowed and the firm grew,” she said.

That support meant she had the flexibility to balance motherhood with career as needed, even as the Neagles welcomed their third child, now 12-year-old Alexander, into the family.

“Our shared vision was always that I would be the children’s primary care giver,” said Andrea. “This meant that I needed, and Damon and our growing number of employees tolerated, a lot of flexibility in my schedule, especially when the children were very young.” Even now, she aims to be home from work before Alexander returns home from school.

That work-home balance has helped build a strong profamily culture at Design IP. “Our employees enjoy a great degree of flexibility related to family life, and ‘pay us back’ with a lot of hard work and loyalty,” explained Andrea. “We think they really appreciate our ‘family first’ orientation to life.”

Work-family gray lines

Inevitably, work discussions spill over into domestic life, but the Neagles have discovered ways to keep it productive.

“We have found it nearly impossible to intentionally separate our work and home lives,” Andrea said. “We are both involved in all major hiring, financial, and strategic firm decisions and have always been very collaborative. Some of the best work discussions we have are over a cocktail late in the evening after the kids have turned in for the night.”

But faith and family always come first, and so the Neagles both are involved in school, church, and volunteer activities: Damon coaches a couple of youth volleyball teams, while Andrea sits on school boards and directs religious education at their parish. “These varied activities are important to both of us, take us away from the work grind, and help us build relationships outside of our ‘work world,’” she explained.

Damon was raised in a devout Evangelical family but converted to Catholicism before marrying Andrea, a lifelong member of the Ukrainian Greek Catholic Church, which is in union with Rome but uses the Byzantine liturgy. Despite coming from different faith traditions, the Neagles believe it is important to provide their children with a united and consistent faith formation.

“Our family and work priorities were and continue to be aligned primarily because of our shared faith,” Andrea explained. “And keeping our faith at the center of our lives allows us to live and work by our guiding principles: Christ and family first, and honesty with each other, with our employees, and with our clients.”

A dream come true

Joe and Abby Fredrickson met at a University of Notre Dame football game while both were students there in 2013. Four years later, they were married on campus in the Basilica of the Sacred Heart.

They always wanted to work together. That opportunity would arrive in short order.

In early 2018, Alex Jones, a college roommate of Joe’s, contacted the Fredricksons with an idea for a new Catholic prayer-and-meditation app and asking for advice on its theological aspects (Joe had majored in economics and theology, while Abby had majored in English and theology). They helped write some of the first content for the app, called Hallow, and Abby made some of its early voice recordings. Before long, Jones had hired Abby as full-time head of content for Hallow.

Out of prudence, Joe stayed with his old job awhile before joining the startup team as content and programs lead at the end of 2019.

“A big consideration for us both working for the same company was creating a stable home for our family,” Joe said. “Our son, Dominic, was born a week after Hallow launched, so it made sense that one of us should try and have a more standard 9 to 5 job for a while before we could see that Hallow was going to be around for a while and help support our family.”

Working together in business has been a wonderful experience for the Fredricksons, Abby said.

“When Joe started working for Hallow, it not only was great because we got to be together as a family more often, but it also became so much easier for me to balance watching our son with work,” she said. “It’s been so fun to see Joe step into a new role in Hallow and get to have more time with our cute kid.”

Joe agreed: “Hallow has been a blessing we never saw coming.”

Stronger together

Working at Hallow has strengthened their marriage as well because they experience the ups and down of both professional and family life as a couple. “For most of the year, Dominic has been at home with us while we work, so it’s been difficult to find a schedule that allows us to get the work done that we need to, while also being present to our son,” Joe explained, noting that they’ve worked for Chicagobased Hallow remotely from their Grand Rapids, MI, home since before the COVID-19 pandemic erupted. “We’ve learned the importance of open communication — and Google Calendars — and have finally found a schedule that works for our family.”

That schedule to accommodate Dominic’s needs involves starting work early and bringing it to a definitive end by early afternoon. Fortunately, the Hallow team is very supportive of a good work-life balance, Abby said. Still, the business and marriage partnerships mesh well in the Fredrickson household.

“Inevitably we do end up talking about work things while out on a walk or over dinner, but only because it’s fun to talk about,” said Abby, “Though we work together, we’re usually doing different projects, so it’s interesting and fun to catch up at the end of the day. If we’re ever feeling burnt out from work, though, we communicate that and stay away from talking about it.”

Their shared Catholic faith is “such a gift in our marriage,” said Abby. “It helps us remember that our primary job on earth is to help each other — and those around us — know they are loved and encourage each other to be holy. We’re blessed to get to bring faith into our work in a direct way.”

Working for Hallow has strengthened their faith, she noted, because “when you hear so many stories of God changing lives, it makes it easier to be encouraged at the power of prayer and know that God is with us.”

And for Joe, working alongside Abby has deepened his love and appreciation for his wife.

“I love working together. I’ve had the gift of seeing how amazing of a writer, leader, coworker, wife, and mom Abby is all at once,” he said. “I couldn’t imagine a better lifestyle for the three of us.”

GERALD KORSON, editorial consultant for Legatus magazine, is based in Indiana.