His will is for life

As life goes on, most of us come to the realization that not only are we not in control like we thought we’d be – but that God has cast a few wild cards and new throws of the dice we didn’t anticipate. More often than is comfortable, we’re faced with having to make a new (and perhaps hard-to-decipher) re-routing. Change, sacrifice, and bottoming out test our faith and trust in God.

I’ve always been a planner, organizer, and initiator. The circuitous road into middle age continues to present some chin-jarring speed bumps and sinkholes – showing that what we’ve had our heart set on is not always in our best interest, detours often work better than the well-known route, snap decisions based on surging personal emotions are ill-advised, and reacting isn’t the same as prayerfully acting.

Call it a genetic predisposition in Italians, but we don’t do so well in these situations. They go against the I’ve-got-this mindset. It’s easy to blame family makeup and the examples of relatives. But we’re each accountable for how we live, what we decide, and whether we first seek God’s will.

I’ve learned this much: God wants life – ours and that of others – to thrive at all ages in all times. He’s chosen us to be the stewards and advocates of it, and if we try to override His will – we’re never at peace. Life is for preserving and propagating His Kingdom, on earth and eternally. But it often comes at unexpected cost to expectations, ambitions, and personal control.

When we were expecting our second son almost 30 years ago, the doctors came in during an ultrasound and told us they saw ‘problems’ in the pictures. There were spots on a few of his organs, and they suspected he’d be born with certain organ failure. We were told to get an amniocentesis right away. I would spend the remainder of the pregnancy gripped with worry. Our preborn son sensed it, and stopped moving for the final four months.

Out in the medical parking lot, my husband said, “We’re not getting that test. Why should we – so they can tell us to abort him? We’re his parents and we’re keeping him, no matter what.” My husband is the youngest of 11 children, and has always valued his parents’ generosity. “Heck, what chance is there, typically, that I’d even be here?” he often says.

I just got a phone call from that same son, who was born with no problems and today is a professional trumpeter. His superiors just presented him with a choice – that if he persists in abiding by his conscience, he’ll likely be sidelined from his coveted position. But he chose what he sees as God’s will over his own.

As St. Ignatius of Loyola said in his Spiritual Exercises, the most important thing in this life is we’ve been created specifically to give glory to God, and to save our souls. Every choice we make must keep to that priority.

CHRISTINE VALENTINE-OWSIK is Legatus magazine’s editor.