Fixing fractured families

A 2021 Gallup poll revealed that for the first time in eight decades fewer than half of Americans claimed they belonged to a church, synagogue, or mosque. The biggest drop-off was among the young: just 36 percent of millennials (born 1981-96) reported belonging to a faith group.

There are many opinions attempting to explain this decline, but central to the problem is the breakup of the American family, believes J.P. DeGance, co-author of Endgame: The Church’s Strategic Move to Save Faith and Family in America. A hard look at statistical data reveals that those from broken homes are less likely to attend church, leading DeGance and other like-minded advocates to set their sights on saving the traditional family as a means of strengthening the Church and society.

Mary Rice Hasson of the Ethics and Public Policy Center is among those experts who agree with that assessment. “As families fracture, you have a parallel decline in religiosity,” Hasson said. “And if you have a decline in religiosity, you have a decline in moral values.”

HITTING CLOSE TO HOME

DeGance, who spoke at Legatus’ Summit East 2022 last January in Florida, is the founder and president of Communio, an organization that equips communities and churches to develop proven, data-informed strategies to strengthen families, marriages, and faith.

After years of involvement in moral and conservative political causes, it was the break-up of his sister Danielle’s abusive marriage that led him to focus on saving marriage and the traditional American family, he said in his book. The couple’s four children, then aged 10 to 15, needed a home, so DeGance and his wife, Christina, adopted them (the DeGances also have eight children of their own).

DeGance observed the apparent eects of a broken home on his sister’s children, including anger, bad manners, and self-isolation of the oldest child, and noted similar problems with children of other failed marriages. He reasoned that “stronger churches and stronger marriages” were fundamental to a happier and healthier society.

Millennials from married homes are 78 percent more likely to attend church than those from unmarried homes, he pointed out.

“A parents’ marriage has a massive, lifelong impact on whether their kids practice Christianity as adults,” DeGance said, citing a 2018 survey. “Those from married homes across the last three generations regularly attend church at nearly the same rate.”

Although millennials and Gen Zs are the most secular age groups and least likely to attend church, if they come from a married home they are just as likely to attend church as baby boomers, he added.

‘SEARCH AND RESCUE’

DeGance describes outreach to the young as a “search and rescue initiative,” noting that “many of our youths have apostatized by the time they connect with youth ministry.” Seventy-four percent of Catholics who leave the Church do so between the ages of 10 and 20, he said.

“They are not leaving because of bad youth ministry, but because the Christian story of salvation is one of a heavenly Father who loves us and sent His Son to die for us,” DeGance said. “If at the start of life we don’t associate with a dad at all, or it is a broken relationship, it is really hard to grasp and accept that story.”

Communio’s eorts include surveying client church memberships to learn the state of members’ marriages and then developing strategies to help churches reach their desired goals. They supply churches with a calendar “game plan” to implement with outreach events and ongoing enrichment activities. In the months following, they monitor the progress each church makes.

DeGance’s first client was a community church in Arizona, where his survey found that one in four married members were at risk of divorce. He alerted the pastor to make marriage renewal a top priority, starting with a six-week sermon series on marriage and the distribution of small-group curricula. “It was well received, and church membership grew substantially,” DeGance said.

Another popular initiative is to encourage churches to sponsor “date nights” for couples as part of their evangelization eort in support of marriage.

NEEDED: TRANSFORMATION

Mike and Alicia Hernon of the Messy Family Project ministry also are concerned about strengthening marriages. Their Ohio-based outreach began as a podcast in 2015 and has since evolved to include coaching for married couples, books on parenting and building family culture, a blog, coursework, videos, public speaking, and Catholic couples’ getaways.

“Our mission is to empower and inspire moms and dads to embrace their sacred calling” explained Mike, who along with Alicia is a Legate of the Pittsburgh Chapter.

“We believe that by transforming the family, we can transform the world,” offered Alicia. “We do what we can to offer practical human formation, and don’t hide the fact that we are Catholic.”

DeGance concludes that while traditional efforts to evangelize inactive Christians and the unchurched are certainly beneficial and should continue, the real rallying cry for Church leadership should be relationship ministry and targeted eorts at the parish level to save marriage.

“To be effective,” he declared, “the New Evangelization must be a nuptial movement.”

Jim Graves is a contributing write for Legatus magazine.