Embrace a fragile soul in time

The prime working years can spawn unforeseen career disappointment or loss — out of nowhere. Suicide in America is at an all-time high, according to a new CDC report, escalating sharply among white males 45-64. When people feel overwhelmed and unable to make sense of things, they may see life as pointless and become unable to perceive God. 

For years, I couldn’t grasp why anyone would take his own life. Then one late winter, it came into focus.

Our parents had recently died, and my husband and I simultaneously lost our mature positions, right after Christmas. His decades-long employer was sold, and the new owner sidelined his contract. My largest client changed course. 

Overnight, we plummeted into financial freefall, juggling dozens of sudden d ecisions without any idea how the nightmare would end.On-hand cash would last just several months. Health insurance had to be paid out of pocket. Mortgage payments couldn’t lapse, but they would soon. Our star credit rating could go south fast. College tuition was due for our youngest in his final undergrad year. My husband’s company car was taken back, and we needed another vehicle PDQ. Christmas bills were surging in. Our longtime home had a haunting feeling — like it was mocking us for being there. We felt like squatters. The mountain of concurrent crises seemed insurmountable.

Scores of job applications and interviews had to be pursued daily and cheerfully. We felt like captives being watched. After decades of professional success on an upward trajectory, it was like living through a plane crash. I recalled colleagues over the years who’d undergone similar experiences and how I hadn’t helped them enough. I didn’t stay in touch adequately to see how they were doing. Now we were in a doubly sickening situation. And our phones and emails were dead quiet.

At Mass, we were hardly attentive, going through motions. I wore the same clothes and would forget to eat. The house was put up for sale immediately, and we’d figure out where we’d go once it sold. All of life’s color, vigor, and expectation smeared down a wall of strange despair. My outgoing personality soured inward.

One night, as we reheated leftovers, I said to my husband: “Has God abandoned us?”

He could sleep soundly, but I couldn’t. I became acutely aware of why people might take their own lives. It seemed easier than tunneling through a tsunami of multi-layered catastrophe. Then … I realized how precarious my mental state had become.

I went to a priest friend, who explained this was a great test, a pivotal trial. We had to persevere and rely on God like never before. He wept as I described it, gave me prayers to say in distress, and promised his own to shore us up. We forced ourselves to follow through. I took inventory of my spiritual life and did some “housecleaning.” I saw where I’d taken God’s generosity for granted, and I committed to immediate improvement.

Then, after many long weeks, my husband landed a new position. The following week, I did too. The double miracle was even greater than the crisis.

The profound lesson wasn’t that there can be a sudden reversal of fortune. It was that when people feel overcome, alone, and without visible rescue, they ponder the unthinkable. But God can reverse anything ... and He does.

As Christ’s friends, we must watch for those in dire difficulty and reach out without hesitation. Just one encouraging conversation can make a critical difference for a soul and wrestle it back from the edge. Every soul has an unrepeatable purpose — regardless of interim defeat — and God wills none to despair or fail.