There’s an iconic black-and-white photo from 1961 by New York Times photojournalist George Tames depicting President John F. Kennedy from behind, leaning with his hands on a desk at a window of the White House, head bowed, appearing deep in thought as though the weight of the world were on his shoulders.
In reality, the image was snapped as Kennedy was routinely reading a document in preparation for a meeting with the ambassador from France. But the powerful photo took on a connotation of its own as an illustration of the burdens and loneliness of executive leadership, where best judgments and weighty decisions that ultimately affect the well-being of many must often be made.
U.S. presidents have often reflected on the loneliness of their office. “This is the loneliest place in the world,” President William Howard Taft warned Woodrow Wilson, his successor. Wilson would come to agree: “I never dreamed such loneliness and desolation of heart possible,” he would later write.
President Harry Truman once referred to the White House as “this great white jail.” He also said: “To be president of the United States is to be lonely, very lonely, at times of great decisions.”
Where the buck stops is often a place of solitude.
That sense is not limited to world leaders, however. CEOs and other business executives often face similar issues. When one must make the final call about any risky strategy or painful decision like downsizing or layoffs, it is natural to feel responsible for any negative repercussions, actual or potential. Judy Roberts’ feature story in this issue relates the strategies of some leaders for coping with loneliness (see p. 10).
Writing in Forbes magazine not long ago, leadership consultant Constance Dierickx opines that while the phrase “lonely at the top” may be true, it is also fatalistic. Some see loneliness as the price for success, a condition to be endured. And while the pat advice is to increase social contact, she writes, the most important factor “is not the number or frequency of contacts, but a lack of meaningful connection with other people.”
Some of the “dampening effect” of loneliness, Dierickx says, include tension and fear, a loss of enjoyment, a loss of empathy, less tolerance for imperfections, and distress over what is amiss. A leader might create echo chambers for reassurance, shutting down real dialogue. Dierickx offers possible solutions:
Take your emotions seriously. Stress can affect not only performance but health too.
Think small to create big effects. Actively listen, observe, and ask questions of others, thereby building those necessary connections — both on business and personal levels.
Take the long view. During a crisis, recall the frequent refrain of Abraham Lincoln, another U.S. president who battled loneliness: “This, too, shall pass.”
It can be lonely at the top. But it doesn’t have to be.