Chastity is key to a sexually integrated individual

Andrew Comiskey, founder of Desert Stream/Living Waters Ministries for those struggling with sexual sin, is author of the 2022 book Rediscovering Our Lost Fullness: A Guide to Sexual Integration. As he details in the book, as a young man he was involved with the “gay” lifestyle, but later he embraced evangelical Christianity and married his wife Annette, with whom he has four children. He converted to Catholicism in 2011.

You share your own story in your book.

Yes, the first two chapters are autobiographical, but I did that to set the stage of a Catholic understanding of human sexuality coming from my Protestant perspective. I then begin to explore the question of what is sexual integration, and how does Catholicism help a person integrate his or her sexual identity.
 
I also talk about sexual disintegration, Catholic anthropology and morality, and how it is relevant and dynamic in a person’s quest for wholeness. The Catholic Church has such a treasure to offer the world in the area of teaching on human sexuality, and I want to help readers understand how it is helpful.

What is sexual integration?

It is chastity. It is the intersection of our human longing and need to connect with one another, in particular with a person of the opposite gender for the purpose of easing our aloneness and creating human life, with the spiritual hunger we all have for the Ultimate, for God, seeking a union with Him as our creator and redeemer.
 
Besides my story, my book tells the stories of many people I’ve met who have made progress in sexual integration, often having begun from places of great disintegration and shame. Some well-meaning Christians might tell them that this disintegration is a cancer on their resumes merely to be contained, but, in fact, God comes into our lives to transform us.

Your book speaks of how some in the Protestant community have compromised in the area of sexual morality, in particular telling same-sex-attracted people that homosexual behavior is acceptable so long as it is with a single, committed partner.

Yes, but chastity rejects that compromise. In fact, chastity rejects the notion that anyone is LGBTQ. That is a social construct of the 21st century not rooted in the Father’s good will for our sexuality. 

When people express that they believe they are LGBTQ, we must deal with them lovingly, thanking them for sharing, but then we must move on with the business of becoming chaste. As Catholics, we all should be seeking to become more chaste. We are all called to move in the same direction, even if we have different starting points.

What are some of the unhealthy attitudes about sex that you’ve observed in your ministry?

I was counseling one couple, and the husband came out of a conservative, Christian home. His education in sexuality was based on prohibitions (“Don’t do that!”), rather than on the glorious vision Pope St. John Paul II offers us in his theology of the body: my body directs me positively to become a gift for my wife.
 
Also, I disagree with the belief that I should only share my sexual sin and brokenness in the confessional with the priest. I believe in Confession and go regularly myself, but we can also benefit from having walking partners who can help us overcome our sin and wounds. We can mobilize in small group settings, keeping one another’s secrets safe, and learn how to listen to people and treat them with great dignity.

You believe that Confession and Communion are important aids in living chaste lives.

Yes. The confessional makes us live lives of accountability and walk in the light, and the Eucharist is God offering Himself to me at the most profound level. Both impact our sexuality in a positive way, giving us a spiritual power to live sexually integrated lives.